Never too early to start
Last night, out of the blue, little N (who is all of 7 years old) said: Amma, I am sad, because K is not my friend any more (K is another girl in her class).
Why, what happened? I asked.
K said she won’t invite me over for her play day at home, said little N, looking sad.
Why did she say that, N, I asked.
Well, she said I am too Indian and that means I am too boring. So, she said she doesn’t want Indian people in her group any more, said little N, shocking me into complete silence for half-a-minute.
Well, if that isn’t one of the saddest things I’ve heard of in recent times, I then don’t know what is….
But there is something even sadder (and scarier). K is an Indian.
6 comments:
OMG! I am shocked too and really mad about this incident... So let me try to organize my thoughts into a comment..
1) I wouldnt blame K entirely, given she's only 7 too.. who told her this or created circumstances that led her to believe that Indians are boring? Again, i would love to assume it's her parents, but dont want to assume too quickly.. it's always easy to blame the mom for anything wrong a child does.. but it need not be necessarily true...
2) As a mom to a 3.5 yr old girl and living abroad.. I dread this as something that my daughter will experience... no matter what people say.. such narrow minded thoughts and stereotypes do exist.. :(
3) I think u should try to find out more from K's family/friends/teachers and take some corrective action here.. dont know what the right course is,.. but dont remain passive..
-Vidya
hey if it is 'indian' in NZ then it is 'caste' in India. Discrimination for social status is not going to go away. Tell me we don't do somthing equally reprehensible - do we mingle with all folks at our home - I mean ALL folks? Do we? I doubt it. Quit being shocked and realize that evolution demands that we try to choose 'friends' as per our advantage - you can't change that instinct - you CAN overcome it though.
Gee, I think this girl was probably parroting her parents' views - or attitude, even. Maybe THEY have the "too Indian" complex about themselves and the girl just absorbed it. A friend's son, when he discovered he was "Indian", told his mother: "Mummy, dont tell my friends I'm Indian, I want to give them a surprise!" :)
you must speak to the kid's s parents. this is not acceptable.
and why do you say it is sadder and scarier cos she is indian?
Vid: Like you, I too don't want to do the obvious thing of blaming the parents. But still not sure where the attitude comes from.
Sanjay: I do see the sense in what you say, but still, that does not make it right.
Shyam: I was just trying not to do the obvious, although I wouldn't be surprised if you were right.
V: I intend to do some speaking, although I am not yet sure if it will be to the kid's parents. I thought it would be obvious that this is sadder because an Indian doesn't want/value another one. So what expectation can we have from non-Indians?
Not sure how easy this would be to explain to N, but I think it's important we teach our kids the realities of life and to deal with them. She needs to be explained that there are people out there in the world who lack good understanding and who you must ignore establishing they are wrong and some day they will understand and come back to you corrected, often always they do. If children learn to ignore and move on earlier if their life, they will lead a happier life and will be surrounded by lesser morons. I wish my parents had taught me this saving me years of analysing people and coming to peace with sour relationships. Easier said than done I know.
Bharat, Lower Hutt (am sure you remember me :-))
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